So, it's World Cup time. As we've said before, you're better off watching the real beautiful game and ignoring this over-hyped spectacle completely. I maintain that the World Cup will go the way of Miss World — become something developing countries fight over to host and developed countries lose interest in.
But if you insist on flying down to Rio, remember that the Brazilians are pretty much the exact opposite of we British when they've been drinking. They're lovers not fighters. They'll be looking to dance a samba with you after a Caipirinha, then try to bed you; they won't be looking to engage in a running battles through the streets, and start hurling chairs through the windows of pubs and suchlike. (Stop Press: Unless it's a government protest.)
Taking note of the climate — although feel free to don a pinstripe suit and bowler hat if you feel like it — here are some suggestions as to how you may present yourself to your hosts and represent your country. I've sought out clothes that are made in England — the same as you.
Fred Perry - Monkey Jacket in Cotton Twill (Made in England)
N. Peal - Fine Gauge Short Sleeve Silk and Cashmere Polo Shirt
Henri Lloyd - Fairfax Cotton Crew Knit
Crombie - Crombie 'Sanforized' Cotton Trousers (Made in England)
Pantherella Sea Island Cotton Ribbed Sock (Made in England)
Church's - Hirst Suede and Leather-Lined Derby (Made in England)
London Undercover - Whangee Folded Umbrella (Made in England)
Trestle Shop - Gin Clear Hand Made Sunglasses by Tender (Made in England)
Address for the British Embassy in Brazil
Should you be slapped with a deportation order.
The British Embassy,
Setor de Embaixadas Sul,
Quadra 801, Lote 8
CEP 70408-900 Brasilia
+55 (61) 3329 2300