A Tight Bottom is Not Enough

A Tight Bottom and a Good Joke

They say that the two most attractive things in a man are a nice bottom and a good sense of humour. Well, a good tailor can help with the bottom - a dart here and a pleat there on a well cut pair of trousers and you'll soon look like you've been giving your gluteous maximus a serious workout at the gym. The means of acquiring a sense of humour could be a bit harder, and is certainly beyond the humble scope of The Tweed Pig. Besides, who doesn't think they have a sense of humour?

Moving on to themes we do cover, I'm sure no one would regard good grooming as a potential turn-off. You'll never fail with a well maintained set of nails and a good shine on the shoes. They speak volumes about the fibre of a man.

Let's concentrate on the nails today, which merely need to be well clipped and in a nice clean state. Unlike the bottom and tailor solution previously mentioned, this can be seen as low-hanging fruit in terms of improving romantic prospects. 

Tools for the Job

  • Clippers
  • Nail brush


  • Rubis

    Minuit manicure set in butch camping-style neoprene case (below). The Swiss-made kit includes spring-loaded clippers, tweezers, file, and scissors in fairly indestructible surgical steel. Found at Swiss Made. They also make a nice army knife.
  • Geo F Trumper

    nail brush (above). The staff at Trumper's talked me through their extensive nail brush offerings. I went for the English-made one (above). Always remember to take it with you on trips. Good habits should always travel with you.  


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